this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
