I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you didnt know i had herpes?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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