Screwed.edu
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
