Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
So. Much. Porn.
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