Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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