Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
