I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
thus making me awesome and them whores
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
