apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
