I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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