Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
