he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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