i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
