so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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