Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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