is your mom at the bar?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
