sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
