elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
