nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
