Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I love having hate sex.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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