My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
wanna go halves on a baby?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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