Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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