Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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