My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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