I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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