I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
