CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
