We're like a lot better than the average bears
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Sacagawea was the original milf.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
