we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
