Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just had sex on a roof
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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