And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
