ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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