Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
