haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Boobs are out for the taking
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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