It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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