WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
