All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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