Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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