We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
