Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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