Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
