the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
