I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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