you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I think I have vodka in my lungs
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
