I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
