It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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