Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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