you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
