Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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