I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
