respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
