Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
